I am a mommy!
I have one child, a daughter.
If you have read my blog before, you would already know that.
But here's my confession...
It pains me to see her grow up!
Yesterday was her first day in 5th grade. 5TH GRADE!!! *sigh*
On the way to walking up to her school, she tells me "You're gonna cry, huh?!". I replied with a "No! I'm fine. I've never cried before." She replied with a simple "Oh."
Well, later as I was carpooling with my husband, driving him to work, I broke down. My husband being a man just simply said "It's OK Hun, it's part of life." No kidding.
In the next few minutes, I mustard up the courage and dried up my tears and carried on the rest of the day.
Later as I was tucking my daughter into bed, I told her I broke down earlier. Almost like I was confirming to her that she was right. Instead, I think I just stirred up mixed emotions in her. AHHHHH!!! (I need to learn to keep my mouth shut sometimes).
She then says to me, "I knew it!" so I confirmed with her that I was really fine when she said it and that it was when I was driving "daddy" to work. She then gets quiet a little and says "I wanted to cry too" and then she puts her face in her pillow and breaks down. *sigh* She then goes on to say in the midst of crying, "I don't want to grow up. I love you so much. I don't want you to leave." Oh boy! What did I just start??
I never knew how hard it was gonna be to be a "mommy". One thing I can assure you is this, it is a daily learning lesson. Now, to avoid causing my baby girl anymore stress that "mommy is so sad that I'm growing up", I need to encourage her to be excited! Yikes! Again....not an easy thing to do but I am the mommy and I need to do this for my baby girl.
In the meantime, any wisdom someone may lend me would surely be appreciated!!