Friday, April 10, 2009

Memories: Diane - Part 3

If you missed Part 1, it's here.

If you missed Part 2, it's here.

***Warning: Minor graphic detail towards end of story.***

Now that Diane had moved into her own apartment, she was acting like a single girl. She was only separated from her husband but she continued to see Jim. She even allowed her step-daughter, Wendy to move in with her. Why Wendy's dad allowed that is beyond me.

Diane and Jim were a new couple now. My mom started to see less of her. She still came around the house, just not as often. In fact, the apartment she moved into was in the same neighborhood as our house. Wendy and I would even walk home together after school. Later on, Diane allowed Wendy's boyfriend to move in with them. Wendy was only 16 yrs old. That lead to her dropping out of school, mid 11th grade (my 12th grade). Highly unacceptable in my book, even back then.

They stayed in that apartment for a few years and then Wendy ended up moving in with her boyfriend while Diane moved into another apartment in town, less than a mile away. Once I turned 20, I ended up moving in the same apartment complex with my boyfriend (husband now). I would go over Diane's house to visit too. Her and I would watch movies or just sit around and chat. She was even there when me and my man would get into an argument. I remember him and I got into it around Christmas time and he knocked over the Christmas tree and I called Diane all upset so she came over and helped me grab some things and I went back with her to her place.

I'm not sure how much time went by but she ended up moving in with Jim out in Fremont. They got a place together too once she got money from her parent's will. Once she moved out there, we rarely saw her. My mom and I would always talk cause Diane would call my mom and discuss the fights her and Jim would get into. They were always physical. I also remember one time I was over Wendy's place visiting and she told me how Diane and Jim get into one of their fights and that she had a black eye. Diane even told Wendy that "he will be the death of me". We tried to talk to her and help and reason with her. She "loved" him. She wouldn't leave.

I remember the day vividly. It was late afternoon. February 10, 1998. My mom called me and first thing she said or actually asked, through tears, was "guess who died?" I don't know why I knew instantly. I don't know how I knew. I just don't know but instantly I began to cry and said "Diane" and my mom replied "yes". I broke down. She couldn't be gone. She was too young. She just celebrated her 40th birthday a month earlier. WHY???? I had so many questions. How? When? What happened???? My mom explained that her and Jim had gone to a local bowling alley in Fremont with some friends. They were all high too. Something about one of Diane's friend's rings that Diane wanted to wear. Jim got mad. They left arguing. Diane's friend tried to get her to stay with them but she wouldn't stay. They continued their argument while they drove home. The story has always been completely unclear but what I've been told was, Jim pushed Diane out of the van, the big old school kind. When she got pushed out, she fell. He backed up and ran her over. Drove forward and then went back over her again. Getting her chest and head. Cops came and he went to jail briefly but then was released based on that it was an accident?? Horse****! THAT doesn't sound like an accident to me.

When the funeral came, Valentine's Day, it was a very emotional day, as expected. They had a room where we were able to view Diane but because everyone knows how I am about death, they advised me not to go. That I wouldn't be able to handle it. To remember her the way I last saw her, so I didn't go in. My mom, my brother, Wendy went in. They said it didn't even look like her.

I think about Diane all the time. I dream about her all the time. That she is alive, with us. It's been 11 years and I still have a hard time with it. I wanted her to meet my daughter. Of all the deaths I've experienced, this has proven to be the hardest. I miss her!! I love her!! I hope she has gone to heaven so that I can see her again one day. One thing that I think of is, she always valued my opinion. She would always ask other people, "What does Kimmy think?" That holds a special place in my heart. She holds a special place in my heart.

Every time I listen to Sade's "Maureen", I think of Diane because Diane liked Sade. I dedicate this song to Diane.

RIP Diane
Jan. 1958 - Feb. 1998


Mary@Holy Mackerel said...

Very touching tribute.

Linda said...

Oh my friend, I'm tearing up along with you! I remember you telling me about her death when it happened, but your story is very moving.

gigi said...

Congratulations on your win from the SITS!

Donnetta said...

Congrats on winning the blog design from SITS.

And what an incredible tribute.

{Diamond} said...

That was a WONDERFULLY told story, Kimmy! And the way ypou broke it down in chapters, had me anticipating the next installment. As tragically as Diane's life ended, and as short a time as she spent on this earth, will never be in vain. She came into you and your mom's life for a reason. She taught you so many important lessons and gave you great memories while she was here on this earth. Remembering her is a perfect way to honor her everyday.

windi said...

I wanted to tell you congratulations on your win from SITS and also let you know what a wonderful job you did telling about Diane's death. very touching tribute indeed as Mary stated.

Have a blessed day!

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend.

I was in an abusive relationship before my husband. I've been there. i know how hard it is to escape the scenario. I have the "what if" thoughts. What if I didn't find my husband that was able to help me leave him once and for all? Would I be dead right now? Probably.

I'm sorry that this tragedy happened in your life.

The Acting Mom said...

Oh my goodness! I can't believe you won the SITS blog makeover! I haven't been over there in awhile and I was just looking around and saw that you won. Congrats! It looks fabulous!

Trudy Tilseth said...

Yes, that was very touching indeed. And I admire your faithfulness to a great friend. For so many, it is just easy to cast people off when they travel down roads we don't approve of. You stuck with her and your tribute to her and all of the wonderful memories will keep her alive for not just you, but so many others.

Beautiful writing!