Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Dear Ann Landers....

I know you're no longer with us to give your solicited advise that some of us so desired when the situation arose, and I know that your daughter is now giving that witty advise instead. However, if you were still here, this is the letter I would write to you...

Dear Ann Landers,

I am a mom and a wife. I work and when I come home, I just want to relax, make decisions for dinner and/or not have any constant interruptions.

My daughter has recently befriended a little girl in the neighborhood. We'll call her "E". "E" is a year older than my daughter. Her parents apparently have split and the mom lives in the next town over whereas her dad lives in our neighborhood.

The first time my child played with "E", she tried getting my daughter to cross the street. My daughter said "no because my mom doesn't want me to cross the street" and "E's"replies back with "Chicken!! Your chicken! Bawlk, bawlk, bawlk" Now, I know kids will be kids and this is what they do but with this being the first interaction with my child, I'm not happy and a but annoyed.

Fast forward a few months and "E" has become a frequent visitor now. She seems to be playing nicer and I'm happy....but very observant and I tend to watch the interaction to make sure there is fair playing and no red flags.

I've met her dad, not formally but there's just something about him I'm not sure about. Neither is my husband but we have come to the quick conclusion that our daughter will never be going over to their house. He just gives off a red flag.

Now, about a week ago, "E" came over to play and the girls were playing in the backyard. My daughter had to use the restroom and "E" continued to play in the back waiting for my daughter. Then the doorbell rang. I went to answer it and it was "E's" dad. I called for "E". Leaving the front door open but not inviting her dad in, I walked to the back door to get "E" and she says "What does he want?" as she lolly gags to the door. I reply "He wants you, so hurry up." During this time, my husband over hears my daughter come out of the restroom and hears the dad say to my daughter "Why are you down there?" and my daughter replies "I had to use the bathroom" with a sound in her voice of "why do I have to explain that to you".

I was a bit annoyed by that but also tried to rationalize with "Maybe he was concerned about his own daughter being left alone with us." Still annoyed and red flags up and trying to make excuses as to why my daughter should play with "E". However, my daughter loves playing with "E" and this is the only girl in the neighborhood she gets to play we allow it. Again, at OUR HOUSE ONLY!

Now, mind you, everyday "E" is at her dad's house, she comes by our house everyday, few times while we are home. It's as if she stakes our house out and waits to see when our cars are in the driveway. On multiple occasions, as soon as we get home from work, the door starts knocking. It's really annoying. My daughter will tell her she has to do her homework or we are getting ready to eat or leave to run errands. Not more than 15 - 30 will go by before she comes back over to see if my daughter can play. This will go on a few times in one hour. She'll even ask me why we are leaving. I don't have to explain this to a 9 yr old.

So yesterday, I get home from work and the door knocks. It's "E". What a surprise! My daughter stands at the door for about 10 minutes talking with "E" and asks what were having for dinner. "We don't know. Maybe pizza." We tell her we're gonna eat there but "E" says, "They deliver, you know?!" No kidding!!! Then we tell our daughter to say goodbye that we're gonna be leaving. As we are looking for coupons, 5-10 minutes goes by and we're still home. So guess what happens? KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK! My daughter answers the door and it's "E" and "E" says "Well, what are you doing?" WHAT??? Are you kidding me? Serious??

I just don't know what to do. This child just seems to be lacking in the manners department. Honestly, I don't ever remember being THIS annoying as a child. Is this the new behavior of kids today? Is this something I need to get used to? I. DON'T. THINK. SO! Call me "old school" and I will not allow my child to behaved in this manner. Just disrespectful and annoying.

What do I do?

An annoyed mom in California


Amarie said...

I actually got a little sad reading this. I know it's annoying as all heck, but it's not "E"'s fault. Poor thing probably has no family stability and you guys simply represent that for her. It makes you wonder, who's paying attention to her, if she's constantly knocking on your door. I grew up with kids like that. Have no manners because no one really cares to show them any. Parents are probably too involved in their own lives. Since school is back in, limit their time together to weekends, OR even better, YOU answer the door when she knocks and clearly explain to her that today is no good, maybe tomorrow. Hope it gets better. :-)

Jennifer @ The Toy Box Years said...

Wow -- what a sad situation. But I can totally see how that is annoying to your family. I think your daughter is starting to pick up on it too.

While this child is seriously lacking in tact and social skills, it is also not your job to fill in that gap. With that said, I think firmer boundaries need to start being set with her -- such as set play times, etc. Next time she shows up on your door step, explain firmly, but gently that this is not a good time but maybe we can set something up for Friday. This way, you're nicely telling her this is not a good time, but yet gives her something to look forward to.

Good luck!