Thursday, August 25, 2011

I'm torn...

On Tuesday, I took my daughter to school as I always do on Tuesdays.

I always hang out with her on the blacktop until the bell rings and the teacher walks them to the class. This is something I enjoy doing, as well as she likes for me to do.

So on Tuesday, we got there and she noticed a group of her friends hanging out laughing and chatting. We walked up to them. My daughter pokes one of her friends and says "hi Autumn" and her friend says hi back. They all continue chatting and laughing at the stories they were sharing. All seemed good.

Being the mom, I decided to grab my phone and play on Facebook as to seem like I'm not "eavesdropping" on their little conversations. Try to distance myself somewhat. However, I noticed the girls not including my daughter.

I noticed my daughter slightly turn and take a step in the opposite direction of her friends. I noticed an uncomfortness, so we had the following conversation:

Me: "Are you ok, sweetie?"

S: "yes"

Me: "Do you want to go over here?"

S: "yes".

Noticing the sadness, I asked again

Me: "Are you sure you're ok?"

S: "well, I sometimes feel left out."

My mind got ticking so I softly asked her

Me: "Do you think maybe it's because I'm here?"

She nodded.

Me: "You want me to go?"

She quickly replies

S: "No!"

as she grabs my arm.

I'm now wondering how long before she decides she doesn't want me "hanging around" with her when I drop her off at school. So far I've had a couple people say it probably won't happen because the bond my daughter and I have. I have the same bond with her as I did with my own mom growing up. My mom even confirmed that I never was one of those kids/teenagers that was like "Ok mom, you can go now". I'm mean, my daughter still gives me goodbye kisses and loves when I help out in class. She always wants me around and wants "snuggle time" EVERY night.

I just hope she doesn't start to feel that pressure from her friends. One good thing is, all the kids pretty much know me and they all greet me with "Hi Mrs Phillips" or "Hi "S's" mom" and my daughter even said a couple of the boys said I'm cool, so that's a plus!

Wish me luck cause I think 4th grade is gonna be tough on me! (lol!)


Sweet Tea said...

I think that is very sweet that you are with your daughter each morning right before school, but trust me, the time will come when she will need to make her own way into school and into a group of friends alone. It's a necessary part of being an individual and learning how to socially maneuver. . .My oldest dd and I were talking last evening and she was relating a similar story about our middle granddoll who is in the 5th gr. Lots of Girl Drama and figuring out how to be part of a "group" this year...Growing up is hard work at times. . .You're a great Mom and I suspect that you and your daughter will always have a GREAT bond, and you will "know" when the time has come for her to become more independent.

Amarie said...

Those days are coming, Kimmy lol. I don't think she'll EVER snub you, but because of your bond, she'll probably feel REALLY torn when she's ready to have some space. Maybe, just to make it easier, leave a few minutes earlier a few days a week when you drop her off, just to give her some bonding time with her classmates. That way, she won't feel so left out, but won't feel so bad about wanting to fit in.