Yes, I call it "Mommy-Hood"! I've never really liked the word "Mother". It's just too proper, cold and so not nurturing. In fact, I refer to my mom as a "Mom" cause she's always been so loving and warm. Whereas some people, who shall remain anonymous, are referred to as "Mother". When Paul and I are talking and somehow my mom gets brought up and he calls her a Mother, just because to him that's just a word. My response to him is "YOU may have a Mother, but I have a Mom!" :o)
So anyways, this blog is well.....about being a mom and the stresses that come with it. And let me tell you, I've been stressing all day!
Today I read a friend's blog and it really got me worrying. Before I had Sabrina, I knew that I would be protective and would worry about what life's challenges would bring but I never thought or knew for that matter, the feelings that would come with it. Today I felt so overwhelmed with stress to the point that I kind of felt like I was suffocating by it. The blog was about the documentary "The Bridge". I had never seen it nor even heard of it until today. For those of you who haven't heard of it, it's about suicide awareness. I hadn't taken into consideration that this is one of the leading causes of death in young people these days. This is what I have to worry about being a mom. I need to be aware of what is going on with my child which I always had planned on making my number one priority. However, I never in my mind thought that every day things could put my child into depression such as relationships or peer pressure. You hear about these things but not too often that you just kind of think "Wow, that's really sad" and then forget about it. Now that I'm a mom, I can't forget about these things. I have to take an active role in making sure I see the signs.
One thing I also want to make sure is that Sabrina can always come to me and talk. If not me, I know she would be able to talk to my mom. Sabrina and my mom are close and I love that! It makes me feel good to know that my daughter will have a close relationship with her grandma. When I was young, I always knew that I could talk to my mom. My mom is so understanding and listens. She is honest and will give you honest advice in a loving way. I just know that if not me, Sabrina can go to my mom for anything. Sure, it may hurt me if she can't come to me, but if it can save her life by going to my mom instead, I'll take that ANY day!!
I know I'm getting ahead of myself since my baby is 6 years old but again, I'm a mom and that will never change. My worries will never end. Now I know how my mom felt and still feels. That's one reason why I contemplate having another child cause I don't want this worry times two. Now I'm gonna go give my baby a kiss while she's sleeping. :o)