I have an imperfect marriage. Don't we all, right?! Well, I've been with my husband for 16 yrs and well.....it's been imperfect the whole time. Needless to say, I've needed an ear to be lent and a shoulder to cry on this whole time.
This weekend I was thinking though. It was difficult too cause as lonely as I may feel about this, I feel even more lonely when I have to spill my heart out to those I love for the last 16 yrs and am now starting to hear a diffence in them. Almost like a "not this again" tone. To them I'm sure it just sounds like "blah blah blah" cause it's always the same thing being said. I just feel like I'm burdening my loved ones with my issues and I don't want that.
The other thing is, when my husband and I are dealing with our "imperfect" marriage, it always happens late at night. I am not about to wake up my loved one(s) just to spill out the same ol' same ol' nonsense, so I refrain from doing so. Instead, I leave and park in a parking lot and think, cry and avoid calls from the hubby. Sometimes, I'll answer them only to tell him that I left so I don't have to hear the "nonsense".
I contemplated on posting this but I just felt like I needed to get this off my chest. I have decided to just turn my problem over to God and let him handle it for me. I can talk to HIM and he'll listen. He'll help me in ways that only HE can help me......and I'm truly grateful for that! Why? Because it is HIM that will help us with our marriage and get it the way it was meant to be because honestly, my husband and I are awesome together...minus this "nonsense".