Friday, August 7, 2009

The Clock is Ticking

hour glass Pictures, Images and Photos

Ever since my birthday last week, I feel like the clock is ticking. I'm not getting any younger and if I want to have another child, I sure in the heck don't want to be 40 yrs old having it. I keep thinking, "When my child is 20, I'll be 60". YIKES! That just sounds terrible. All I think about and remind my mom is, when my husband and I got together when I was 18, my mom was 39 yrs old. I love that! I don't want my child to be embarrassed cause her parents are old enough to be his/her grandparents. lol

I know I already have one child and I am so grateful for her. I love her to pieces! However, I always wanted to have 2 children. Now that I have my one, I have mixed emotions about having another child. I'm afraid I'm gonna miss out on something with Noodle. I don't want that to happen. Also, we love to travel and that additional expense may put a damper on future trips. Not to mention, if this next child is anything like Noodle, the tantrums I can do without. I have heard though that the second child is usually the complete opposite. Yeah, I'm sure that's not always accurate too. My luck, I'll have two of the same.

Another thing I'm worried about is, I already stress about Noodle's future and who she meets and all the scary stories of murder and, well...you get my point. Do I REALLY want this stress times two?? Do I? I mean, I literally think about it everyday, I pray about it everyday. It scares me and all I keep thinking is......Scott Peterson.

Then my husband and I got to talking the other night. I told him that we need to do something. The one thing that is really keeping us from having another one right now is the economy. The future for us is unknown right now and I don't want to bring another child into the mix. Then I have my birthday and now that I am 5 yrs away from the big 4-0, it kind of puts things in a different perspective.

Then that same night when I went to bed, I had a dream that I was pregnant. Are these signs? Am I looking into this way too much? I just keep hearing it.......tick, tock, tick, tock.

The clock is definitely ticking on me.

6 comments:

Denise said...

You know what? It is NEVER the right time to have a child. If you look for that "perfect" time, you will never find it. Sure, two will be difficult. Sure, it will make traveling harder *for now*. Sure, you may have a tantrumy child (but honestly, ALL children are tantrumy). Sure, your pocketbook won't have as much money. Sure, there are a billion things that can happen to your child. Sure, it is DEFINITELY scary bringing another child into this world.

But you know what? It's worth it. The love of a child is worth it. The sacrafice, tears (yours and the child), sleeplessness, all that...is worth it. Just think how more enriched your life will be with another child. Noodle will have someone to play with - and she will be a HUGEEEEEEEEE help. And she may be jealous (I worry about this with munchkin) at first - but I think 95% of people that I know that had a 2nd child who worried about that - said it never happened. The other child was excited to be the "big" brother or sister.

And another thing...I think you are a WONDERFUL set of parents and I think you will teach your children morals and values and hopefully they will take them into their teenage and adult lives and avoid bad situations because they were taught to avoid them. They will want more for themselves because YOU taught them how much they are worth and how special they are.

You can't guarantee they won't get hurt, you can't even guarantee that for yourself. We never know what God has planned for us or when He is deciding to call us Home. BUT...if you live in fear, and don't trust in God, then you will never move forward. God is NOT going to give you more than you can deal with. I truly believe that.

I say GO FOR IT! :) Be scared. Be excited. Be unsure. Be happy. It will ALL be worth it!

Denise said...

I just saw this quote and had to come back and share...

"Don't be afraid to try, be afraid of the chances you'll miss if you don't!".

It reminded me of you!

Tania @ Larger Family Life said...

I agree completely with Denise. And you'll always have enough love. It's never ending. There isn't a limit. And the thing with love is the more you give, the more you get back. Trust me!

Ms Cupcake said...

Dropping by from sits.

Happy Saturday everyone!

Make it a happy day!

Ms Cupcake
Zen Cupcake

Linda said...

You know what...after I ready your blog, I was going to jump on with some words of encouragement, but then I ready what Denise wrote and I can not top that! She said it all! :o)
All I can say is like Denise said: If it is something that you both want, then just do it! There will always be something "holding you back"...IE: your man's job, credit card bills, vacations....whatever.
At first, my man and I were going to wait until our credit cards were paid off until we tried for our eldest, well....7 years later the bill are higher than ever but we have TWO adorable children (when they aren't being little monsters!Lol) If we waited like we thought we should, we wouldn't have either of our children today.
My friend....just do it! You'll be happy you did!!! :o)

The Adventures of France & Deirdre said...

Best of luck on whatever you and Paul decide! Wish I had the same draw to have another, but NOPE!!! I am done! My one is enough! I live for everyone else to have the babies........LOL!!